Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 June
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
My Links
gr33nguppy
IcyGrl02
whitamus
steff
kato-potato
exploding dog
quotes?
snow art
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| disspare |
| 05.13.04 (7:52 pm) [edit] |
I can feel it building… the a cloud in the distance on a sunny day . You hear the thunder and know the rain is soon to follow..
Staring down the barrel of the methodical gun. The explosion that rips out the back of my skull…
I awake in my darkened room and realize I’ve been awake all night thinking. Why can’t I make her happy. My moth feels as if I have been crewing on the inside of my many pillows. So I drag my self off the floor and get a glass of water. I viscously gulp it down. And feel almost glutinous. I left the lights off cause it hurts to much to turn them on. I open the fridge even though I’m far from hungry, as if their would be something new in their that wasn’t there a couple hours ago. The light hits me like a hammer. I slam it shut as if it was a anti-snack device… if it was it worked well. I stumble back to bed and lay back down. The nights are still cold and I leave my window open so that my room fill with the cold like a gas chamber slowly creeping, silently it engulfs my lungs and the warmth of my covers become a womb for me to sleep my worries away and be reborn again in the morning.
I wake half dazed, scratching at any possible reason to stay in bed. I argue with my self, knowing the out come quite well but can’t face the truth. As if it hasn’t been the same every day for the past seven some years of my life. It was easy when your mom would walk in and turn on the lights. Might as well throw a shoe at you, but that was only for mornings I would fall back asleep oblivious to the bright blinding light. But my reasoning soon runs out and gravity kicks into gear the world starts turning and I’m thrown out my front door, indisputably to do this dance once again.
|
|
|
| |
posted by: IcyGrl02 (reply)
post date: 05.14.04 (3:00 pm)
Wow, that whole post was deep. And the rain adds to the mood... All I can say is damn you hide your feelings well in person, but more importantly, things get better. Maybe someday she'll see what a great person she has in front of her.
|
|
